Sharks need love too (not all bite)

[Underdog]

Hud, Myrrh and Meredith,

For some reason I didn't get my e-mails until now. I have no idea what that's all about, since I have access at work. Weird.

One thing to comment here is that it seems like there are a lot of down people on the board today.

Hud, I'll answer yours either tonight or first thing tomorrow. I appreciate your incredible insight there and here. Thanks for being a friend.

I'm taking notes from your goals. Ellie, thanks for the permission to go ahead and do both. Fortunately, the money is here to do it. We'll probably head to Chili's since it will be all 4 of us, and there will be no elephant taking the seat adjacent to ours. Thanks for your advice.

Uh, yes, let's plan on having some cake when you're here. My day is 2 days after you head home... me and my buddy Houdini share one (note to me: maybe learn some of his escape tactics?).

Ok, so here's how I handled the rest of my evening...

I decided to act AS IF Mr. W. would be happy to see me. So I put on my Bob Barker smile and voice and waltzed through the garage door entrance. D6 was thrilled to see my effervescence, as was D9. Mr. W. stood at the countertop, eyeing me warily.

I beamed broadly at him (and I have a killer smile and great teeth) and he actually backed up! I said very cheerfully, "Hi Mr. Wonderful, how was your day?"

He looked beyond shocked. He managed to muster, "okay."

He stayed longer tonight... wonder if his lingering was attributed to Bob Barker's presence?

AND, before he left, he gave D6 (who was sitting next to me) a smooch and said ILY. He looked at me and nearly said those same words when he caught himself and stammered. His face turned pink and he turned to D9 to tell her that he loved her. I took a sense of sick satisfaction knowing that he was working really hard at not telling me anything (and yes, I can see that this is really an effort for him).

Next positive: I told Mr. W. that D9 and I did Operation Clean Sweep in the files over the weekend. He was shocked. I told him that there was a new file created for 2003 taxes, and that all the 1098s and w-2s were there.

He commented, "Okay, I'll get started on them this weekend when you're away."

I turned to him to look him in the eye and said, "I know that you had a tough time with me during tax season in all the years we've been married. I came across as snotty and unbelieving that you were more than capable of doing them efficiently and in our favor... and I'm sorry for treating you so shabbily."

He merely grunted and said, "It's okay."

I stated more firmly, "Mr. W., it's really not okay. I know I hurt you by insinuating that you didn't have the intelligence to do things. I was just upset that we always had to pay more in April when everyone else I knew was getting refunds. I was mad at the system, but I want you to know that I appreciate how much time it takes for you to work through them."

He looked at me as if I had a spaceship hovering above me.

One last thought: I'm ready to try a small dose of the jealousy thing... because I had a moment of brilliance at the gym.

Two years ago, when I joined the gym, there was a contest. It's a female only gym... and the prize was a valentine mug that says "I LOVE YOU, YOU'RE MINE". I set it on the countertop and Mr. W. said in sort of an odd, jealous tone, "Where did you get THAT?"

I told him the truth and he looked sort of weird. Of course, OM/EA was newly in the picture for me, and perhaps he was jealous.

So, if I were to make him curious/jealous, I'd need to have male attention without acting on it. How does one go about this in such an artificial method?

I realize that what I was doing when he pursued me was being pursued by other men... but I don't want to be weird about it. Maybe get one of my girlfriends to send me a phony card saying something corny?

God, if this isn't one of my most pathetic posts, I don't know what is! I've stooped to a new low in fabricating male attention... at least the males who aren't gay!

Okay that's enough from me right now. I need to log off and hang out with my girls, who have been really patient tonight.

Hugs to all.

Betsey