Yeah, that reminds me of the Pia Mellody CD set on boundaries, which I should get out and relisten to annually. I forget the good things I learned, and one of them was to sit back and think, "my his brain is really attacking him for him to be acting like this."

It does help and it's easy to forget and take things personally.

But also it seems like, if I can't be a part of the solution, I don't want to be subjected to it. I'm right there with S15 in not wanting to be around H. I guess the thing is to *tell* H so that, in case he cares how he comes across, he'll at least know how he's coming across. If he then knows and doesn't care, at least I'll have stood up to request decent treatment.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.