Sharks need love too (not all bite)

[Underdog]

Okay, I'm getting closer... and thanking Triple J and PIB for help here.

Mr. Wonderful's purported LL is Acts of Service--but I'm clearly rethinking this one. I really am thinking he gives in Acts of Service but receives in Words of Affirmation.

Matters none, because I believe he would notice the difference between a pack of gum, a real present and a kick in the butt.

Before I go on, I feel I need to vent for a minute.

My birthday is 8 weeks from now, so PIBs suggestion is not bad. But I have to tell you about this miserable day, last year, from my POV.

I was driving back from MT (taking the girls to see their grandparents and relatives on HIS side of the family--it was an unmitigated disaster) on my day. D6 had not taken the trip well and was very out of sorts. I called Mr. W. from my cell at about Cheyenne and asked him if he would mind coming over for a few hours so I could take a nap. He said yes.

I went to bed, exhausted both mentally, physically and emotionally. I know I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, he asked me if it was okay if he left and I said yes.

The next morning, he called me at work and apologized for not expressing the HAPPY BIRTHDAY thoughts. I HAD noticed, and the thought back then was pretty dismal. He said he had lost sleep over the fact that he had spaced it out (though a couple months later he admitted to deliberately holding back on his birthday wishes).

I know I registered on the BB a couple days afterward (I figured it was time to come learn from all of you what it appeared I was not getting on my own).

If I make a reference to celebrating mine (which I would dearly LOVE to do), I think it might come across as resentful. I guess I haven't quite closed that wound either. However, the nice shark admits that she doesn't want her H to absorb any further guilt from the past.

What about suggesting we head out to dinner on Monday night instead to celebrate? And maybe skipping the SAD clock and opting for a smallish gift certificate for a golf shop? With a funny card, of course.

PIB, did you get any good advice from others regarding your dilemma of late? I'm thinking that anything anyone posts to you would be of service to me too, so I'll head up there to see for myself.

Thanks, folks!

Betsey