It's football season-all is well

[Mtnman]

Thanks FY and rH! She has not filed. I plan to give her what she's asked for. A life without me.

S9 broke down at bedtime and asked me why mommy didn't love me anymore. I told him only mommy could answer that. I didn't understand it either but was going to keep praying.

He then went to her and told her he wanted us to hug. She came toward me and said, we can still hug see! I stepped back and said, no we cannot hug anymore S9. He bawled and ran to his room. (I know us hugging would only confuse them. It confuses me) I followed and held him as he heaved. He kept asking why. Kept saying he didn't want another dad. Asked me to never find another mom. Kept repeating, "I thought she just missed grandad." She came in and cried too. But couldn't explain why she wasn't "in" love with me anymore. He is sleeping with me tonight.

I am relieved I don't have to pretend anymore for them. I will be nice but distant and probably cold toward her. I hate to say it but it will take some time for me to forgive her for what she did to my boys today. I hope it eats at her as much as it does them.

Thanks for your words of advice and encouragement. I am considering asking her to not come here everyday like she has been. Knowing I would then not be able to go to her place to see the boys either.

Going to keep fighting. Not giving up!!!!