Thank you both for your insights. It is very helpful. I think I understand more about my H. But one thing really bothers me is that every time when he was meeting the OW, it hurt me a lot. Still I can not pretend that I didn't know the truth. I hurt him before, now he even hurts more...
M 18 yrs 5 & 7 yrs old kids H DB in 4/2013 H moved out in 11/2013