Hey Dawn, thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot
You are so hard on yourself, too, sweetie. Letting go is very, very difficult. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do. You are holding onto the memories of what once was. When you think about letting go, it feels as if you are letting go of all that. And that is scary.
It feels more comfortable to hold on tight to what you knew. It is familiar.
When you let go, though, you are releasing yourself from being bound by the past. It stops you from moving into the future. And that future can be something great. Whether it be a new marriage with your h or not.
Yes, it is true, all of this was a journey to find me. It is a forever journey. And I know that I would not have found me, if it werent for all this. Do I wish I could have learned what I did in a different way? Absolutely. But I trust that this is the way I was meant to learn it. And so, I am grateful.
Ah, fairy dust. That would be nice, right? But you are correct, only he can get through this and out the other side. No matter how much you want it for him.
You place a terrible burden on yourself, and him, to feel that you control his happiness.
Yes, you are only in control of yours. And it will ebb and flow. That's life.
But, you can change your mindset and that helps a lot.
This all happens when and as it should, Dawn.
The first step is in learning to let go.
The next is looking within.
You are on your way, my friend.
There are ways to figure stuff out. Put down all the things you would love to do if money were no object. Put down dream jobs and places you have always wanted to go.
Put down traits of people you admire. Classes you've always wanted to take.
Keep thinking and writing.
Picture yourself as the person you know you can be. Everyday try to be that person. SOme days you'll make it, some you wont. But that should be the goal.
You will figure it out, Dawn. I have no doubt.
Remember, it is not the destination, but the journey.
Start taking yours.
I'm still working on that whole " what do I want to do" that we talked about. I think if I can pin something down it will give me a goal to focus on, and work toward.
