Sharks need love too (not all bite)

[Underdog]

OK, I feel I must post this before I begin my next task here (and yes, I'm the last one here).

I deserve an A in Game Show Host Voice 101. GO ME

A few minutes ago, Mr. W. rings me from his car. Yes, you may safely ASSume that he is happy and wants to talk to me.

Topic du jour? His lack of flylady techniques.

I will say here that I am COMPLETELY unsympathetic, but I pulled off complete passion and nurturing, courtesy of Meredith's crash course in Bob Barker speak. I pulled out my customer service hat and plastered on a huge smile on my face...

While I had to hear about how hard it is to clean an apartment. Folks, I think you can safely assume as well that I didn't grow up privileged. I've done my fair share of cleaning and I think that he's done more to clean our house in the past than what's he's letting on.

Needless to say, I got a crash course in all the best cleaning products. And was then given a lovely visual picture of him smelling like ammonia, with bleached hands and prune fingers from the sweat of his toil and labor. He did tell me that the worst part about cleaning was getting the dried Crest toothpaste out of the drawers using an old toothbrush.

I remained positive and affirming, periodically throwing in a one liner like, "Wow! Aren't you glad you don't have to work for Merry Maids?" I got enthusiastic responses to my well timed comments.

And he seemed grateful for the fact that we had such a meaningful conversation.

He then told me he was in a hurry to get the girls because they would be late for D6's physical therapy. I thought to myself, Well, since you're not going to ask me about my day, I'll tell you!

Bob Barker showed up one more time with some gusto, excited and a little breathless (maybe I could have a career in phone porn): "Hey, Mr. W. guess what happened to me today?"

MW: "What?

BB: "I was invited to testify before the state legislature on Feb 19th!"

MW: Clearly stunned. "Really? What for?"

BB: I love this man's disbelief. "To speak on the issue of the CES program on behalf of children with disabilities."

MW: Interested now. "How about that? Are you going to be on TV?"

BB: YIKES! I didn't think about that! "What, like C-span?"

MW: Just a teensy bit condescending. "No, Betsey, C-span is for national stuff. They show local lawmaking on Channel 8"

BB: "Channel 8? Really? The only thing I ever see on Channel 8 is the boring mayor of Greenwood Village discussing how sales tax revenue supports his plans for the people."

MW: "Well, you have to watch it at other times, then. Some of it is interesting."

BB: What? Channel 8 is NEVER interesting! They show teleprompter stuff about how people's dogs and cats get eaten by coyotes. And remind us to put our trash out curbside no earlier than the night before pickup. "Well, I guess I'll have to come home early from work sometime so I can watch Channel 8."

MW: I think he thinks I might be mentally ill or something. "Well, Bets, I'm at the house. I'll have the girls home by 10:30 tomorrow morning. Is this okay with you?"

BB: Emphasizing my approval and enthusiasm. "Yes, that would be lovely. Thanks so much for calling and checking in."

UGH. No wonder I hate game shows so much... But Mer, you're right. This is getting much easier as time goes. And it's sort of fun in a really sicko way. I sort of get off on the fact that I can change my pitch and tone and see how he responds.

Go me!