2.25 Years, Moving Forward

[adinva]

Your friend sounds like he's recognizably out of the norm.

My H gets accolades from friends and acquaintances old and new because of what they perceive as his "unusually good common sense." So yeah, he almost never walks into a situation he doesn't feel in control of, but it rarely requires any extra preparation for him. He's pretty good at it. He seems kind, funny, smart, successful, good at relating with people, good at advising people having problems, a real go-to guy. A pragmatic guy with no hang-ups. He has no delusions of grandeur and recognizes people who are smarter or better at something than he is. He always seems to have the answers, and his answers make good sense. It took a lot of counseling on my part to think there was anything wrong with him other than this recent inexplicable depression. But he has become what I think of as "brittle." He's become a lot grouchier, a lot more demanding, and a lot less flexible; what he doesn't like he withdraws from. It's sad to see that in comparison with how fun he used to be.

It is sad. And yeah maybe he'd need different work in order to get help. When he got this secret job is about when things got precipitously worse, not sure if one is the chicken and the other the egg or neither and just weird timing. It was nice when he was just a "paperboy." (Used to work in publishing like me.)

Anyway, I feel weird spending this much time psychoanalyzing him (nothing against you-all, it's my own issue). My IC agrees with what we're saying here, but nonetheless she's not qualified to diagnose someone who is not in her care, and I'm further unqualified. My sandbox is deciding how I effectively respond to the various insults and inconveniences of being a part of H's family, and I want to get back to focusing on that more.

Haha, never thought of myself as a babymomma but I guess that's what I am right now.