Bug has it right. Unless you are in a place where you can hear every possible answer and not let it affect your path in any way, then I would advise against it.
But, sometimes we just gotta know some things to make that next big step. I also know that you should be continuing on your own path regardless, but the simple truth is that we love theses people. While detachment is the ultimate goal, there is no timeline on how long they stay in our hearts and, yes, to some extent, affect our lives.
^^^Great wisdom here!
The problem with temperature checking is in the process you disclose to your spouse that you're still waiting. Part of their healing process is that they have to feel the loss of you, and if you keep reminding them you're waiting they may never feel the loss and never get to the point of wanting the M again. Plus when you temperature check you will only know how your spouse feels at that moment in time. Their feelings can change very quickly, so a "no" today may be a "yes" tomorrow. IE, there's really no point in doing a temperature check because you can't depend on the response.
That said, as Ruby mentioned sometimes LBS's need to temperature check and hear that "no" to help them move on and become fully detached. So if you do it, do it for you.
