Should I confront or not?

[MrBond]

"Also it was always my H initiating sex... So now he feels he was hurt... But I don't think I did it on purpose. I think both of us didn't put our efforts to realize the problem and tried to fix it."

To be fair you said that he mentioned it to you but at the time you might have blown him off. That can be extremely emasculating to a guy if he has to ask for sex. It's almost like begging.

"Though I did a lot of things to him (taking care of kids, cooking, laundry, housework...), but he seems blinded and very defensive."

All those are fine, HOWEVER what you don't understand is that men need validation. They need to be encouraged just as much as women do. AND men express their love through physical actions, especially sex.

"For whatever I did or whatever I said, he didn't like it. I don't know if it is MLC or not, but he said without me his life will be easier and happier."

He's resentful right now. Don't worry about the things he's telling you now. Keep learning.

"He didn't think about our kids, out family anymore... and refused what I did for the family and for him..."

You expressed your love through doing things when all he wanted was you to love him for him. You said he brought it up before, but for whatever reason you ignored it. That's why he feels resentful. Most M'd men with kids can get a little resentful after their spouse spends more time with the kids than them. It can get very lonely from the guy's POV.

Now I'm not saying that he's right to have an OW, but if he felt neglected by you before, it's understandable how he could start to develop feelings for someone who spends their attention on him alone.