Taking the next step

[TryingToDo180]

I hope that both of our H's wake up one day and realise what they've done! I think my H is behaving like a pig because in his warped mind he'll think that I'll D him. How wrong he will be!

[Not Quitting]

Funny, the MLC twins are at it again. I think my H is not having his supposed "man to man" talk with our son as he's figuring that I'll get tired of waiting for him to do it and will do it for him.

[TryingToDo180]

We'll stick to our guns NQ Girl power! lol.

[MileHigh]

I'm getting very frustrated with the the apparent situation of my W having the best of both worlds while I get the worst. I know this is the way it is, and I signed on for the long haul. Still keeping up my PMA through my efforts to retrain my brain, meditate, be calm, etc.

What's getting to me, besides jealousy is frustration because I feel my life has been on hold pretty much since college, due to debt trapping me in my job, and of course the loneliness of my sitch. Not just socializing, but lack of intimacy. I feel that's been on hold for nearly forever, too. Part of it is just that inner child crying with jealousy that W can have that now with someone else any time, and for me it's an effort just to get out of the house and interact with anyone, never mind members of the opposite sex. And just platonic interaction, of course.

As I'm simplifying, dejunking, and reading inspiring stories of other peoples lives, I'm getting restless again. A part of me wants to sell everything and hit the road. Or get this place sold (very unlikely) and move into a small apartment in town, where there are things to walk to. Or even just travel to visit family - moving on as they get sick of me. But, I don't really have the money to do much. Unless I really do sell everything!

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed. I want to start be using my vacation to do some stuff locally. Stuff I would have preferred to do with W, but it will be an adventure and good for my self confidence and PMA to do by myself. I also want to be a little bit less available to her. I have cut down on my texting and even my replies to her texts. I try not to be the last one to reply all the time when we have a conversation - if you can call texting conversing <sigh>.

[Not Quitting]

I'm getting very frustrated with the the apparent situation of my W having the best of both worlds while I get the worst. I know this is the way it is, and I signed on for the long haul. Still keeping up my PMA through my efforts to retrain my brain, meditate, be calm, etc.

Yep, it’s that roller coaster ride that we got unwillingly got dragged onto . You're having a down day, and once in a while that's allowed.

What's getting to me, besides jealousy is frustration because I feel my life has been on hold pretty much since college, due to debt trapping me in my job, and of course the loneliness of my sitch. Not just socializing, but lack of intimacy. I feel that's been on hold for nearly forever, too. Part of it is just that inner child crying with jealousy that W can have that now with someone else any time, and for me it's an effort just to get out of the house and interact with anyone, never mind members of the opposite sex. And just platonic interaction, of course.

Sounds similar to me, MH. Debt forced me to take a lower paying job when I got laid off a few years ago and I’ve been stuck there ever since. And now, my age is going to start going against me . Platonic interaction is fine MH. That’s kind of like a mom with a newborn in the house – longing for some adult conversation. I'm sure the cats are much of conversationalists.

As I'm simplifying, dejunking, and reading inspiring stories of other peoples lives, I'm getting restless again. A part of me wants to sell everything and hit the road. Or get this place sold (very unlikely) and move into a small apartment in town, where there are things to walk to. Or even just travel to visit family - moving on as they get sick of me. But, I don't really have the money to do much. Unless I really do sell everything!

I hear ya about money putting plans on hold. I’d love to get my own place, but money doesn’t allow it. I’d love to take my son to the place he wants to see, in the US, Canada and elsewhere in the world, but without more money it’s not going to happen. Yet H is out and about all the time with friends or OW or even on his own. What’s stopping you from selling? If my place was mine to sell I would, because there’s too many memories there for me to want to stay here for the rest of my life.

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed. I want to start be using my vacation to do some stuff locally. Stuff I would have preferred to do with W, but it will be an adventure and good for my self confidence and PMA to do by myself. I also want to be a little bit less available to her. I have cut down on my texting and even my replies to her texts. I try not to be the last one to reply all the time when we have a conversation - if you can call texting conversing <sigh>.

Ok, sounds like we need to come up with a new list of comedians or Britcoms for you . You need some laughter in your life today. Now brighten up and stick a smile on that face of yours or I really will give you another list of comedians to look up .

And btw, you really do need to start another thread - I'm surprised this one hasn't been locked yet .

[TryingToDo180]

Mh, you're doing a lot more than some people I know. I'm chatting to a guy from another forum and he's got no money and stuck in his house all day. He's living out in the middle of nowhere, so he hasn't got anywhere nearby to go to and if he decides to go somewhere it involves spending money, even getting there. He only sees his D 3 times a week (I know that's more than most on here!) and he's missing her like crazy.
I have told him about this site, but he says he tried it and didn't like it so I try to help him in PM. He doesn't want to do a 180 with his wife, so he's stuck!
Anyway MH, you're doing great You're getting out doing things, finding stuff to do and have a good relationship with your W At least your W will go places with you and do things with you such as meals out and cinema. That's more than most of us are getting at the mo.
I miss the intimate moments as well. Not necessarily the S, but the cuddles. Do you know that it is a basic human need. My son gives me a hug, but he forgets how tall he is and how strong he is. He nearly flattens me everything I get a hug from him, lol.
I have the same problem as you with the phone calls from H. I always try to extend the conversation instead of saying I've got to go as I'm busy at the mo and I never let the phone ring!
There's one good thing about college and that is that you get to do massages on each other. I know it's not the same having a female giving me a massage, but it's still a human touch. That sounds weird I know, but I'm not gay either. Didn't you say that you have a beauty college near you? Maybe you need to book yourself in for some treatments Tonight I've just had infrared on my back and legs and G5 massage. It was glorious and my back still feels warm even now
A friend of mine suggested that I just buy one thing at a time just so the room looks different and new. You can pick up furniture cheaply if you look in the charity shops and then upcycle them when you get them home Once the living room is decorated then I intend to really sort it out to my liking. I've got plans, little plans that'll make a big difference
Chin up, have some beer and chill with us GALs

[MileHigh]

Thanks, NQ and TTD. I must get some rest, but I'll be back tomorrow with a better attitude and a new thread. Funny thing, when I first started sorting stuff here and sending stuff with W and rearranging, I told her I wanted to replace the cheap furniture we have that came in boxes with stuff I'd fix up from the thrift stores and such. I've been wanting to do that for ages and have all kinds of ideas.

BTW, I failed at my distancing right off, as W texted me right as she was leaving from work to see if I wanted to go to the used book store. Of course I answered right away and we did that, got some food and brought it back to eat here so she could spend some quality time with the cats. We watched SNL that I had recorded. I feel like most of her b****y moments come from feeling guilty about the situation and feeling torn between the comfort of "home" even though she didn't like it here, and whatever it is she has going on at the new house. Just the way I read her actions, but I could be trying to be a new mind reading act.

Been reading some more of my motivational biography book (yes, I need to get back to "Change Your Life..." Have homework from my stress management class, too. <sigh>). Anyway, I'm getting excited about my upcoming vacation time - but I have to get through being on-call and a Friday night/Saturday morning network maintenance event this week first. Then I can break out the boots and hit the trail. LOL

[MileHigh]

Oh, I forgot to say, I *do* need to get a massage. Used to have a woman who came to our office who did the chair massage. They used to have the seated massage in kiosks at the malls, but the state health department ran them off and now they just have those chairs you feed money into that run up and down your back and violate your bottom! I seriously don't know what they were after with that seat action!

But there's nothing better than a full body massage (well, maybe there is, but nothing you can legally pay for... ahem). It did wonders for all my aches and pains.

Speaking of touch, I actually saw a video about a woman who offers hugs and snuggling for pay. Nothing more, and fully clothed. Shows how much people can be lacking for that. I was talking to my sister about how good it feels just having your hair shampooed by someone else.

[MileHigh]

Moving over to Walking Down a Different Street.