Turtle Goddess she of the hard shell soft

[mizjjd]

OMG, what kind of father would tell his son that if he hadn't left him they wouldn't have had the lifestyle they had? That's awful!

I am right there with you on this Snodderly. When H texted me this bit I was swearing a blue streak.

H says, "Why? It's okay. I'm not upset."

I tried to rein it in because I didn't want H to start defending his Dad but I was/am outraged. I only have 30 more minutes on lunch break or I'd go into full detail of what I think of his parents. Gotta vent that somewhere lol!

Your h's depression is going to start to get deeper, but that's following the MLC trail.

I was wondering if that stage was beginning to show its head. There has been a shift in H of late. His venom toward me seems just a touch weaker. Like he'd still like to be nasty but can't quite muster up the strength.

And he has started eating more. I asked him yesterday what his agenda was during this visit home and he responded with each day's menu. That's it. His agenda is eating.

Nero,

we're the guys "paying" and they get to be all needy & disabled.

Do I ever hear you on that! H insulted me via text the other day and the new-improved-not-gonna-be-passive-aggressive Jaye called him, politely, on it. His response? "You're too sensitive, just deal with it." (Jaye mimes throwing phone at wall, repeatedly.)

Complicated,

It still baffles me how they don't see how crazy this is all so crazy

I know. The insanity of the whole thing. The upside downness. H clinging to his parents because I have hurt him. And the "worth" of the OW.. just preposterous.

But they can't see any of it because they're inside of it.

It bothers me a bit to realize I do best with H when I sort of pretend he's a case study, a psychiatric patient. But believing he's lost his reason is a huge part of how I can stand.

Portia,

Jaye, I find myself quite reflective these days, now that the drama of the rollercoaster is on a plateau. It shouldn't be hard to know what I want, but I am finding it is.

Lots of layers in this onion, aren't there? The only thing I know I want is OFF the roller coaster. Beyond that? I really don't know.

RL,

I hope to God you're wrong about it getting worse before it gets better though. It can only get worse for so long.

I don't think I am wrong. But that's the only way through, so I'm trying to welcome the worse.

Thanks all for stopping by.

Lunch is almost over! TTYL

~ Jaye