come on legs keep moving and dont lose no ground..

[albamarie]

What an inspiration UR. You are very special to even be able to share your story with us, thank you.

I look around and say what am I holding on to, a man who is gone, who am I looking for, a man who is crazed, who do I want to be with, a man that is depressed, no, what is it about me that can't let go?

This is a learning phase for us as well. I remember your story about how your D helped you find you. It's a forever journey, but a journey we may never have take to explore ourselves.

I'm just as lonely as the next person, and believe me I get how that occupies a brain and clouds our judgement. I have made most of my mistakes out of loneliness, but all it causes if grief because no matter what, nothing we do will make a difference.

Other then fairy dust sprinkled over my H, nothing will help him until he reaches out for change. I am learning to let go of the illusion I created, that I am in control of his happiness.

I'm in control of only mine, and tho I have a long way to to achieve that thought, I hope I am on my way. I will past your words to read when I think I can't do it, and remember if you can do it....what am I crying about.

I'm still working on that whole " what do I want to do" that we talked about. I think if I can pin something down it will give me a goal to focus on, and work toward.

I am open to all ideas