Sounds like your wife is struggling to find herself in all of this. It almost seems like she is grasping to control something in all of this turmoil (since her own emotions and actions seem out of her control), and your daughter finds herself directly in her sights. I think part of your wife's struggle is that she had convinced herself that you were "all bad" but can clearly see that you are not. It's probably creating a lot of confusion in her.
Great job with your daughter. It is very important to validate her feelings so that she will be a more emotionally stable woman later. I think that going through what you have, you get that.
BTW, I too fly RC aircraft. Well, I should say "did". They have been collecting dust for a decade or so. Haven't found the time to go out and do it! Oddly enough, I was just looking at my planes in the attic recently, wondering if I would still be able to fly them without crashing! I suppose it's like riding a bike.....
