Thank you all for shaking me back to reality. This is not who I am at all. I'm a much stronger person than this. Throughout my relationship with H, I have actually been the one with the level head while he was insecure and freaking out (maybe that's why this is so scary -- because I don't recognize him?)
I need to step back and find that person, and let her take over.
The baby still needs a few things. I need to wash the baby car seat cushion and baby clothes (since I'm having another boy, the clothes are hand me downs). I still need to put together his dresser and decorate his room, even if we eventually leave this house.
I haven't even put together a hospital bag. Even though I have a scheduled csection, my contractions are coming more frequently and are more painful, and being that I am 36 weeks, he could be home any time now.
I will try and focus on that for now. It's tough, but I will try.
