I'm in a bit of a rush and so cannot respond individually right now but please know I appreciate the visits.
I want to journal/record some texts from H while they're still fresh. H is up at his parents right now, and as usual, this provokes his thinking and his communicating. The latter I think because texting is safer/easier for him than on-site face-to-face.
So, late Sunday night I received.
When I'm alone I think too much. I always realize how much of a mess I'm in. The hole is dark and deep and I think it gets deeper all the time.
And that ladies and gents was the end of the communication. Just a lovely bedtime story....
But Monday morning H was responsive and text/chatted about mundane things throughout the day. Then just as I was drifting off to sleep.
Conversation came up with my dad where I had a opportunity to say he left me.
He said if he didn't they would not have had the life ($) they had.
All water under the bridge he (H's dad) said.
You know not a day goes by that I don't lament about our failed business or other events in my life.
Everything in my memory has become a regret.
I'm on a slippery slope. I'm happy alone here because I'm doing no harm to anyone and I can be useful.
I am kind of settled here. Not restless. No worries, no financial problems.
Thank you DB. I did not freak out over any of the above. I listened and responded with validation.
And now I have to run.
Take care all.
~ Jaye
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
