It's a fine, and vague, fuzzy line between being a caring, compassionate human, and being a doormat. Easy to cross, both ways.
One thing I did tell my W on our anniversary "D talk", was that if we D, the friends thing wasn't going to happen, the "buddy system" would close down, at least for a good long while until I "got her out of my system"...but I would always be "cordial" to her in front of the kids. This was delivered rather "Mr. Spock"-like. No anger or any other emotion...just the facts. She didn't like that much from her reaction.
Have you dis-passionately told her something like that?
And they DO have a habit of hearing what they want to hear, and not what they don't...it's all about them and what fits into their world-view right now.
And yeah, they do "tell" on themselves if you are quiet and listen...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
