Need advice and friends

[RSmiles]

Thanks Accuray. The no heavy conversation parameter is getting tough for me today.

Journaling....

Feeling very stressed today. Glad to have the boards to let it out and hopefully find some answers.

So I've been trying to talk less but it's hard when serious issues like health and jobs come up.

I work from home right now writing articles and working on web design projects. It's not ideal, but since my last job ended I at least picked up some freelance work. And I'm applying for other jobs all the time. H runs his own construction business and he has plenty of money. Our accounts are actually separate but he measures who buys what. Sometimes he acts angry at me and sometimes he tells me that he's really happy and that he has no problems. Most of the time he ignores me unless he wants something from me. Yes I am feeling depressed.

Today, I was trying to finish some articles on a deadline and H bursts into my office room and tells me friends are coming over for dinner (about 1/2 hour notice). Then I get a call from my health care provider that they can't help me anymore since I don't have insurance and they have no solutions for how I can continue to afford my insulin (I am diabetic). I wanted so much to talk to H but he doesn't have the time and all he wanted to do was hang out with our friends and then go to bed at 8:30. I think he doesn't want to deal with anything that isn't fun and games. We literally had a 2 word conversation about the medical situation and all he said was that's too bad. H doesn't have health insurance either, but he has no current health problems.

I am struggling here.