Learning compassion

[ClingingToHope]

DO NOT MOVE OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE AN AGREEMENT ON CUSTODY!!!!!!!!!

This was my biggest, biggest mistake.

I thought XW would miss me and want me back so I moved into a friend's house. I couldn't have the kids that often.

Then after three months I moved into a Townhouse and we settled into a situation where I have them 5 days out of 14.

When the actual divorce started I wanted 50/50 custody. In my state, a judge will never ORDER 50/50. If forced, the judge will pick one side or the other.

My attorney told me by agreeing to let her have primary custody initially I now had to prove to the court that she was unfit to get custody.

He said I could spend $20k fighting it but was likely to lose.

One of my best friends did it another way. When he and his ex sat down he said he wanted 50/50. One week with her, one week with him.

She said no and tried to move on to other subjects they could agree on. He said, no, it's 50/50 or they could just go to court now because he wasn't going to discuss anything else until she agreed to 50/50.

She caved. He got 50/50.

I wish, oh how I wish I'd have been stronger at the start.