Why was I checking out the site? This sounds really dumb, but I'm a counselor and I used to see people for stuff like this all the time. I'm a longtime fan of MWD, her books and this site.
I met OW last March while I was working outside the US for 30 days. Sometime around the first week of April we became "friends" and I started seeing her after work for casual dates (yes, all wrong). I went back for work in May, saw her again and that's when it crossed the line. So total time together? About 2 months. I still had communication with her for about 2 days after my wife found out, but that has totally ceased. OW has sent some messages since then and I have never responded.
I never decided to cheat on my wife. I just kept walking down a road without stopping myself.
I am not trying to make excuses, but I am a combat vet. When I met this woman we began to talk so easily and there was definitely chemistry there. I convinced myself that this was somebody safe to talk to at a time when I desperately needed to talk. Even though things were good for me externally, I was in a very dark place inside.
I tried telling my wife at one point during the time I was with OW that she never listens to me. She just blew it off. I felt like she didn't pay attention to even the most mundane things in my life--no way she would listen to the big stuff I was struggling with.
I felt like I was 100 feet underwater and OW swam up with a tank of air.
