A Fresh, New Day

[Pudmuddle]

Yeah it was nice today, Dragon, but now I am wondering if he is only trying to get up the courage to tell me something bigger which scares me right now.

I know, I shouldn't worry til it happens. But that is what's killing me is the unknown, of what will come next.

Ugh, I'm going to bed. really tired.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

It struck me as kind of odd that he was asking about that already and didn't really include himself in our plans. Makes me wonder if OW is asking him to plan something for those days...

Mind reading

Very odd behavior. I am wondering if there is something he wants to say, but doesn't have the guts right now to bring it up.

More mind reading... But I am sure you know that. I have to hand it to everyone who still lives with their WAS. I couldn't do it without a ton of mind reading .. And that would drive me crazy

Best wishes to you PM

[Pudmuddle]

I did know 2nd. It's just so hard when there is no real talk. Mostly just venting. thx for listening

[labug]

The future is always unknown, we just think it isn't.

Being worried about the future robs you of today. Let it go, focus on the now.

It's all you have and it's enough.

[Not Quitting]

Hey Pud, I just dropped by your thread. I can see how you became part of the MLC twins, oops now triplets club with TTD and I. There are so many similarities, except my H has moved out so I don't see him very often.

[Pudmuddle]

I'm telling ya

Thanks for stopping by!

[Feenix]

Pud,

I was so caught up in my own tailspin yesterday that I didn't see your recent additions.

That is odd behavior from your H....but NO mind reading! Maybe he was thinking good thoughts about you and S and him for the holidays....you really don't know. And, I hate feeling like that, too. But you gotta let it go! Or it will eat at you.

Like someone in this thread already said, we are our own worst enemies when it comes to thinking too much! Get out of your own head (yeah, like JonF said about himself....I like to give advice that I should be following!!! Lol.)

Hope you have a good evening...and thanks for your support yesterday.:)

[Pudmuddle]

Thanks Angela. No worries on posting here.
I know, I am good at giving advice to, that I don't follow. But it helps to reinforce it to other people, cuz it will help make it not just a habit, but a real thing for me.

It's so hard because I want to know what's on his mind, so I try to mind read, which I know is a no-no, doesn't help, makes me crazy, etc. My patience has gotten very thin over the last 5 years, more than likely due to all of this cr*p.

I am working on patience. And like the lovely labug said: Focus on now, not the future.

[Dragon Heart]

Yeah it was nice today, Dragon, but now I am wondering if he is only trying to get up the courage to tell me something bigger which scares me right now.

I know, I shouldn't worry til it happens. But that is what's killing me is the unknown, of what will come next.

Ugh, I'm going to bed. really tired.

I know how you feel. You don't want to mind read, but you know when your spouse is going to bring something unpleasant up. A little over a month ago, my W stopped by the house. She only talked about work, but when she got up to go she said she came by to talk about us, but didn't feel like it. Alarm bells went off. Next week she stopped by she said she wasn't coming back. A few weeks later she filed for D. I certainly hope your sitch turns out better, but I think it is only smart to be prepared for bad news. If you follow DB/DR, you want to tell them you are sorry they feel so hopeless about your R. That you don't believe in D, but you respect their choice, etc. I will keep my fingers crossed that you don't hear any more bad news.

[Pudmuddle]

I actually didn't hear any bad news, so it's good so far.

In fact, after I wrote on your thread that I had heard nothing from him all day, my phone went off and he was calling. I didn't answer. then I saw my work phone go off too, which got me to thinking hmmm, what does he want. I still didn't answer.

Then he sent a message to my phone that there was a big accident and that I should take another route home. Awww.

I waited and then sent back 'Ur sweet to let me know. thank you!

He and I used to think of each other and then one of us would call the other at that same time. Used to be our ESP moments. I feel like it happened again! Because I was thinking of him and then he called me. Sigh. Aw.

Then while I was in the car driving he sent another text asking about some charges on our credit card. I didn't answer because I was driving. But when I got home I said 'Yes I did know about those'. Then I told him of some other charges. He said 'well just be careful cuz I can't pay those off all at once'. I was going to validate somehow but it didn't come out that way. Me spending money, even though I never spend a lot, has always been a source of minor tension for us. So I just said 'Yeah retail therapy' and then I grinned. He was kind of surprised at my answer said kind of taken aback 'Okaaay'.

Then we went into the kitchen because S was asleep on the couch and he started to talk to me about S's phone and how he was up all night with it. I said 'yeah, he has started that again'. We normally have him put his phone downstairs plugged in so he cannot access it at night.

Then I asked about some marks on his face (which I thought was a cold sore) and he said 'no it was a zit'. lol. then he said he had one up his nose and it hurt like heck and popped good. EW! lol. I just said grinning and laughing 'Gee, thanks for sharing that hon!' (the Hon was an autohabit response!) And I smiled big. I noticed that he really looked at my face when I smiled and it seemed to perk him up.

Interesting.

Then I left the room, went upstairs to change. Came back down to get some water and then was looking at the tv. He then came back into the room and started talking to me about the accident that was on my drive route home, and then also the one I warned him about last night. It was nice light convo.

Then he left for kickboxing/karate class and said Ok see ya later.

Seemed like we did ok. Pud is still being PrudencePatience.