So, I just finished talking with H. I tried to downplay the talking but he seemed adamant to have a talk. It felt strange to me in a way, he seemed calm and happy and kept looking into my eyes. We had a calm conversation about a lot of different things. I let him take the lead with the conversation. His big issue is that he feels I don't trust him and that is what he is wondering most about. We talked about that for a bit.
He asked me if I thought we were fixable. I told him yes. He told me he is not quite ready to come home yet, but he would like a few days to think about some things and then we could talk again. He said he is going to make an appointment for IC. I told him I was going to continue with my IC. He is not sure if he would like MC, not right away anyhow. I told him I agreed. He said he is scared about this process of moving forward and asked how I thought we would do this. I told him I would do some thinking about it and talk to my counselor. I also stated that counseling would have to be part of it, the first step would be our IC. I said I would like to have a great marriage, and start over fresh. I told him we would have to come up with a roadmap, a plan for healing and how to move forward. I said I would ask my counselor about it and do some reading.
I think I did ok? But I am kind of nervous now, like fate is in my own hands.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
