Surviving Separation

[slow_it_down]

Another day of seeing H where he doesn't stay over and leaves as I'm getting my kids to bed. I'm not at all complaining since he did do my dishes and helped with our son while I made and ate dinner.

However it's really hard to imagine how we'll rebuild intimacy or get back to even feeling married if we have 0 physical contact and don't even spend time alone together. Now with his money being tight he said he plans to cut back on coming over (to save gas) and will be taking on side jobs in the very little free time he has (he already works 80+ hour weeks). I do believe he is sincere and doing this because of money issues, not to avoid us.

I hate that if he hadn't started distancing again a few weeks back that we may have been at a point by now or soon where he could move back and rent out or sell his place so he would have money.

He's already a workaholic so seeing him less and him working more is going to be really frustrating. However, I know that I can't convince him to feel comfortable here. I have to remind myself over and over that we are on his timetable for working this out not mine.

Who knows, maybe he'll never want to kiss me again. Maybe he'll never get the urge to give his own place up. I keep reminding myself to live my own life whether he's in it or not so whether he really comes "home" or not doesn't really change anything for me so I should stop spending so much time thinking about it!