LJC, I cannot advise you what to do, as I am in the same boat literally to the same dates as you. I have been thinking about should I contact the wife on the anniversary of BD and ask what.......I don't knnow. But like you, I wonder if she is simply waiting at times for that magical something I need to do.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.