Hello don't apologize about the super long posts, I know it feels good to let go of all the details even to strangers on the internet.
In my opinion, ultimatums are no good. They put pressure on you to act a certain way even if you don't want to and it costs you his respect if you don't follow through.
In fact don't let other people tell you what to do, they tend to give you advice they wouldn't follow themselves just because they're on the sideline.
I can totally relate to the huge mood swings, after my wife told me she wanted to separate I had to constantly take walks or drive the car on deserted roads just so I can be alone to bawl my eyes out.
I read divorce busters and found it useful, can't wait until Divorce Remedy arrives.
All I can tell you is that in my experience, not contacting and keeping at arms length until they approach helped me. She went from "I only see you as a friend" to "I love you and I'm sorry" when she finally left. Of course no situation is the same, but that's ok because your number 1 priority now is to take care of yourself.
Accept the fact that your emotions will be horrible for a few months. You will feel better in time.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
