uR, Very well said. Nero, please live your life to the fullest and don't put anything on hold. She's right, you only have this one life and there is happiness out there waiting for you to find it.
I can attest to the ow playing the damsel in distress and the mlcer wanting to be the rescuer. It happens all of the time because the mlcer feels sorry and down on himself and here comes the ow and she's all boo hooing about her life, i.e., maybe the her h put her out or her h isn't giving her the attention she needs or she says that they don't have anything in common any more and then...boom! The mlcer thinks that's what he needs to do make himself feel better...rescue the other person. Their lives are built on a sand dune and the fantasy begins. It may take a year or even longer for the reality of who they truly are surfaces. They both wear many masks until they get tired of playing the roles that caught them both in the net. If they marry, they will proclaim that they are the love of each other's life, but there will come a time when something should happen in their lives, some of them will finally admit to a family member or a close friend, that they made the biggest mistake of their lives and regret that it ever happened. I've heard this many times and I just shake my head because they couldn't see the forest for the trees.
Nero, you will get to the other side when you are ready. Continue to talk out your feelings because it is helping you to heal. Just remember this...you got the best years of his life and the ow is getting the scraps, i.e., the old and tired person.
Nero, be kind to yourself and know that we all love you and want what is best for you. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
