But, is it???? Is it worth how sad I am all the time? It is worth knowing he is lying to me about everything and I feel like a doormat?
Only you can say if it's worth it.
Leaving won't make you less sad.
Leaving will introduce different sources of pain and sadness.
Time will heal on either course.
It's a very personal decision. Here's how I looked at it if this helps:
There were things about *me* that I understood contributed to hurting my marriage. My priority was to address those things first, with the assumption that if they hurt this relationship, chances were good they would hurt *any* relationship I might get into in the future, so I better address them.
Once I felt I had 180'd those, I wanted to provide sufficient time for my changes to have an impact. You can't undo years of degradation with a few weeks of improvement. It takes time and consistency.
At the point I felt I was a spouse that only a fool would leave, *and* I had given enough time for those changes to become real and believable, at that point W better start meeting me in the middle and I better see a path to a better marriage.
At that point, if I didn't see that W would start contributing as well, then it would be no longer worth it, but I would leave from a position of strength, knowing that I had done the work on myself, I had done all I could do to save the marriage, and that going forward I would be a person only a fool would leave.
Hope that helps.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
