Okay. So it has nothing to do with her age or her being post childbearing/post menopause.
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Our last child was born almost 20 years ago, so the complete lack of libido has been about that long. A few years after the birth, her sexual participation went to exactly zero.
Okay, so kids can completely wear out a woman and when one is exhausted libido dies.
After they went to school, unless you had kids with serious needs, she should have recovered . Unless you homeschooled. That can also wear out a gal.
I CAN see where once a day would be much. Especially if she never has any satisfaction. Sooooo once a week could have been a compromise. Nothing....everyday...this could be seen as a middle ground. IDK.
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I don't think she's ever successfully masturbated. She admitted as much when we first met, and I haven't seen any change since. Sure I've suggested a vibrator many times. See, the problem isn't my lack of suggestions.
Suggesting a vibrator and giving her one are two completely different things. I recommend a lelo.
I was given one at my bridal shower back in 1984. It was quite a surprise. My mother's friend gave it to me. Pretty open minded for the time!
Anyway, after I got over my embarrassment and shock eventually curiosity got the best of me!
Buy one and a book which is instructive about the female genitalia. Place a hand mirror nearby, so she can look at herself.
It could be placed in your bathroom. If she has never had an orgasm, it is very sad. Perhaps this may be a beginning. Also, let her know you want to please her.
Help her to see why you need what you need. Help her to understand that this is part of marriage. So much so, that the Catholic Church which does not believe in divorce, considers this grounds for divorce!
Perhaps take a long drive with her out in the country, and while she is trapped in the car, nowhere to run, have a coming to God conversation!
There is a compromise, and marriage is about this. Also the book SSM, if not on cd or tape. Read and tape yourself then play it in the car.
At this point you have NOTHING to lose!
Make sure you are at least a half an hour to more away, in case she tells you to turn around . Now you don't have to, but it may be effective.
Another idea, video tape yourself having this conversation. This way she cannot interrupt and walk away. Make it difficult for her to ignore you.
I don't mean to follow her around the house, but emails, or video's are there. She can view or re-read without you watching her.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
