Hey Nero, my friend. I hope you are feeling better.

I understand what you are saying about having something to compare. I get that. I do. The thing is, that there is no way of knowing whether you will have this relationship again or another one some day. But there is always the hope. And you were blessed to have had this relationship with someone.

As far as her having what you had, you know in your heart that isnt true. He is in crisis, needing to save someone, she is unworthy, needing to be saved. Not exactly a recipe for a healthy relationship. Neither he or she are getting it all. Not by a long shot.

You can say how you feel as much as you want, Nero. There is no rule against it. You feel what you feel. And if it makes you feel better to say - go for it.

For me, it was a choice to no longer do that. Because it didnt change anything. Didnt make me feel better. Didnt serve me well. We all do what we need to, to get through it all.

I dont know about me being all upbeat, wise and in control. I just do the best I can. Some days it works, some days it doesnt.

Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it and act as if. I did that for a long time. But then, I started trying to find the good stuff in my life. I started to do things that I enjoyed, that I always wanted to try. I started to reach out to people more. Dont get me wrong. Do I miss being married? Yes. Do I miss what I once had? Yes. But, I cant have that life right now. So, I choose to live my life in the best way I know how. And I am happy, Nero. I wish things were different in some aspects of my life. But, I dont want to spend my days wishing my life away, wishing the days away.

We only get this one life. It is your choice how you want to live it. You can choose to not live your life. You can choose to stay in bed, cry all day, rail against all the bad stuff. That is a choice always. But I'm thinkin, whats the point of that? How is that going to make someone feel better?

As far as your h, I know several people, in real life, who have come out of the tunnel. It is possible, Nero. It is.