First of all, thanks so much for input and thoughts. I read everyone and weigh them carefully. It means a lot.
@AS - I'm pretty sure you've said this to me 5 or 6 times, maybe more, and every time in my head I was ready to go! But I've figured out that I was ready to go to get a reaction out of W.
But this past weekend with all the positive interaction, laughs, hugs, kids playing, goofing off, the kiss - all of it reveals that W is out of reality and still deeply in a fog; so all my practice going dim, and tests of a few days have really done nothing except maybe improve W's outlook a little. Sadly, sometimes it takes seeing for believing.
But the real answer is this: until W is ready to work on the marriage, nothing is going to change. It's clear she doesn't really want divorce deep down, but until whatever is broken in her head/heart is fixed, she's going to bulldoze ahead. I tried what I've wanted for 6-8 weeks. A time with W with lots of touching, laughing, fun, kids, good times. It happened and W was pretty much the same afterward.
I'm ready now to go dim for ME. I'm very honest on here, so I'll definitely come back for the 2x4s.
