2.25 Years, Moving Forward

[adinva]

Blame would do no good. But hope would. She needs to learn and practice new skills.

My first 6 or 8 months in these forumscare full of me reading books and learning better commnication strategies and why my way wasnt effective or healthy. Then i'd get assigned a conversation to broach with H, i'd try it, and report here how i did. Biggest challenge was getting past my own fear. I got more confident and practiced more.

Hope that h might be interested in trying from his side too, would have been nice, but he spent all that time and more, trying to make sure i had no hope or expectation that we'd be able to work things out. He saw me changing but was not interested. I worked and practiced anyway because i didnt want to be someone who was literally afraid to speak up to my spouse. People who know me would be very surprised what effect my h had on me. I needed to fix that.

Your w might benefit from ic and reading to develop better skills. Forcing yourself to handle poor treatment is not healthy or good for either of you.