Confused about detaching!!!

[PatientMan]

Pudmuddle,

That is what I decided, too.

Since I wrote that post this morning, he has texted a few more times acting all nice, like nothing is going on.

So, I'm just going to keep myself busy at work and ignore him for now. He is ALL OVER the place today!!!

First, he tried to just lie about it all. Then, when he realized I'm not stupid...when he rememberd that I got the email he sent everyone else, then he just got very, very angry and mad.

He started finding all kinds of reasons to be mad at me and how everything has been my fault, blah, blah, blah. He kept saying I was irrational and crazy. So, I nicely excused myself from the conversation.

His mood swings are really something. I was always blaming myself....but it's becoming more apparent that his moods often have NOTHING to do with me. Makes it easier to just get out of the way...and let him do his thing.

Good.

I was just reading through the last 20 or 30 posts to make sure I was caught up with your sitch and was thinking to myself, "She needs to get off of his roller coaster, because she is on it BAAAAAAAD."

I know this is difficult, but keep detaching. Expect the unexpected. Stay cool, calm, and collected at all times. Do what I told you to do over a month ago:

Angela,

Pick who YOU want to be and just be that person. Disregard what your H says because, as you have experienced, he will find any reason he can conjure up to harbor ill feelings towards you...including when you do exactly as he asks.

Be who you want to be. He'll figure out it has nothing to do with him when you keep that up over time, but there's no getting around the work you have to put in to get there.

All the best,

-PM

You said last week that the "good stuff" made you nervous. It should. Believing none of what they say doesn't just mean the bad stuff, it means the good stuff too. You have to detach and get off the roller coaster.

Keep working! You can do it!

-PM