Looking for New Options If H Wants Divorce

[25yearsmlc]

Just saw Wonka's reply and like it better. But here are some other suggestions.
Feel free to ignore them BUT DO RESPOND TO HIM or to him, you will look like a child blocking her ears and closing her eyes pretending it isn't happening.

Thank you AS, Wonka and JonF for your input. I revised my note and here it is:

Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you feel disappointed.

I appreciate you letting me know that you'll be contacting the utilities to cancel them and I'll follow up with them to transfer them to my name.

I will not be making any rash decisions about my future. ((( IS IT REALLY "RASH" DECISIONS? WHY SAY THAT WORD? Why not say "any decisions about my future UNTIL I have thoroughly discussed it with my lawyer"...Don't label the decision as rash. To HIM< this has been a long time coming.)

Thanking him for doing legwork IS GOOD. My DB coach said to "applaud loudly for the 1% positives they do" and it does help.




All of this is a lot for me to deal with and I need time to process it all, I hope you understand and can be accommodating. I am going to take my time to research my choices. I would like to get a PSA in place by the holidays. There are still components of the PSA that we need to discuss to make it all fair and equitable.

In regard to the cost sharing of the mortgage, what did you have in mind?

I like that you are asking him but I also would Assume he'll want to do this in writing, which is fine. You can forward it to the lawyer. THEN discuss with the L, and THEN let the L tell his L, or if you prefer, do it yourself. I advise against that, however. I think the advantage of having lawyers is exactly this type of thing. IT keeps the ugly stuff between them, not between you. Too many emotions get into it.



Before picking up any items from the house, I would ask that you please write up a list of items that you want for the apartment and send it to me. We both need to come to an agreement on this point to ensure that these are sorted out satisfactorily for us. After we've agreed to the division of furniture, then we can set up a day and time for you to come by to pick them up.

Sounds much better.