Surviving Separation

[slow_it_down]

Confluences, I'm sorry you didn't get your shot to interact with your W yesterday. Hopefully you'll get another shot soon. Since they were out late maybe it was a blessing in disguise so you weren't dealing with her being tired and maybe hungover.

Today has been a good test of some of the relationship skills I've been working on. My H is stressing about being short on money after paying child support. My default response would typically be to try to "solve" this for H instead of just listening and validating, followed by castigating him for all they ways he's spent money on nonessentials in the past month or so.

However, today I did a good job of listening and validating. I also used self control and avoided saying "how can you afford x,y, z but you can't find money for gas to drive over here?" Nope I'm letting him figure this out on his own.

I think my strategy must have been a good one because despite starting off with him calling using the most miserable voice ever, he just called back in a better mood and he said he plans to come over after work.

Him not contributing was a huge issue for me when we were together so I'm hopeful that leaving him to figure this out on his own (and to not cave and say he can give me less money for cs) will break that old cycle.