Thank you my forum friends!

[chasingpavements]

Haha, I knew you would say something about the Leafs They are actually on a roll right now! They are currently undefeated! hehe.

Thanks for your support and advice, I felt like I really needed it, especially today! I talked to him on the phone today and I told him that we don't have to have the talk today if he didn't want to. He then said that he thought it was my idea to talk right away so why am I changing my mind? Then I told him that obviously I can't rush him into talking about something if he doesn't have any answers yet. He told me that we could still talk about a couple of things tonight.

Ugh. I am starting to hate R talks!! All of our talks have ended with him saying that he wants to separate, and he has told me this 4 or 5 times already! My heart is not ready to hear it again! This is why I am so angry!

You are right, that I just need to slow things down again. I suppose it isn't really like being in limbo, this time, just like being separated with the possibility of R. I always hoped if I was separated that it would be for good, so that I could move on and not look back.

Hmmm... time machine? First I would like to time travel back to the 70s.. that seems like fun times and good music! Then I if I were to go to 2015... I am most interested in my own happiness. Of course I would like for things to work with him but I could see myself happy either way. Not sure what I envision!

You are right that in the past I have felt bad for him because I knew that he was going through a crisis. This has not changed, I still feel for him. But when he told me for certain that he was ready to separate, I just let him go. Because I cannot change his mind. Now he has made encouraging comments, that have COMPLETELY caught me off guard.. I was not expecting it at all!

You are probably right about work being a piece of cake compared to what I am dealing with now. Work would be good for me, I could catch up with my old coworkers, and just keep busy.

I agree I need to protect myself. What do I do if he rents a house for $1000/mth? We can't afford it right now. The thought is stressing me out My step mother's opinion is that I keep on dealing with the lawyer, no matter what. My dealing with the lawyer seems to be really bothering H, that is I why I feel like it would lessen the chances of our R. Unless he is just saying that because he doesn't want to deal with lawyers.