ok first thing you have to get into your mind, you ARE separated!! emotionally, there is no acting is if your together is there??? That's the dangerous part about holding the rope too tight.

2nd, "almost being there" is still NOT being there, its gonna happen one way or the other, why rush it, don't have regrets. When your done there will be no regrets, AND you'll know that you did EVERYTHING you could to stand for as long as you could.

What if I told you I had a machine that rushed you forward two years...........what would u hope to see when you got out? Being together? Or being divorced? It wont take that long, so decide now what you want, and stand until you can no longer stand. You will always have a space in your heart for him, cause the marriage wasn't always bad, we tend to remember the good things as much as they cant. So leaving the spot open will come all by itself, you'll forgive him eventually, and that in itself will help.

I want you to put the shoe on the other foot for a minute, you've said in the past you almost feel bad for him, right? Why has that changed now, cause your tired? cause you feel like your doing all the work? I get that. But what does it really change? Your husband has made some comments that are encouraging, is it not happening fast enough for you now? That's for you to answer, not for me. But its up to you to figure out why, and work on that.

Maybe your husband needs to see you go back to work, see that you are going to make it, see that you CAN get it done. BUT I really think those are questions you need to answer for yourself, not him. Dont doubt yourself, look at what you've been doing the last few months, work? piece of cake compared to it.

I agree that you need to protect yourself, that doesn't mean he has to know about it. Covering yourself doesn't mean you have to file a darn thing, just being prepared, its just being informed. I'm not sure how you feel like that's closing any doors. Sounds like something you can work on? That damn detachment thing again.
God, im really starting to hate the word.

In the end the only thing holding you back, is you. If you feel discouraged, feel like giving up, feel overwhelmed, then that starts affecting everything you do, and you incorporate it into all your actions. You must stay positive!

Your up in Toronto area eh? Trust me, you don't want to go see the maple leafs right now, now that's torture.