If W invites for coffee, etc, but there's no commitment to marriage is it useless? Is it the rule of accept some, but not all? I sorta feel like it's giving her cake and letting her eat it too. She gets to be buddies with me, and kids get to hang, so its like "Divorce ain't so bad!"
^^^Mindreading, it never helps.
What do you want to do and can you do it without expectation? That's the question, see how it focuses on you, not her.
And why would it be useless? How do you define useless in this context?
I once marked off days on a calendar to indicate my no contact with H. I didn't give myself a prize but it did help seeing the days stack up. It's like breaking the addiction of the emotional hit we get from contact, good or bad.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
