i don't feel so okay today. i feel like i'm looking forward to nothing in particular after a couple years of pure hell. i think of the years before that- when i was so supportive and thinking he had some problems I could help or make a diff. (silly me- he had NO problems at all- he "had it all" and has just been using me forever probably).
oh well huh? what a shabby outlook - trying to stow it somewhere- maybe it's the cold- making me negative.
i hear what you're saying about your h. problem is his mlc junk going on is making him unable to be who he was with and around you. i can't get this bit- it all confuses the heck otu of me. my h too - IF he is not going to allow himeslef to have any fun with me- or like me or love me- what the heck am i standing around for???
well - i'm standing around because it's who i am- i guess - i'm this person i am - a person who stands.
ya thnk that's a lousy attitude? i am soooo accustomed to doing things with someone- i can't imagine doing things alone.
doesn't SEEM like fun- but then, can't rush finding someone. well, can't find someone fast enough and don't have someone.
doint really want someone else- but might be forced.
YA KNOW WHAT_ I'M GETTING off here because today i'm a giant downer- i hope you get feelin better & perkier. poor old linda is in a down mood today too- i'm thnking it's the weather- heavy & can't decide what it's doing. can it be as simple as that???? HEY everyone else blames everything in the universe on something/someone else- we can too.
these darn H's making us miserable- no price to pay for them- boundless understanding & support in return for yanking our beating hearts out of our bodies and throwing them against the wall - ratty crreeps....
oh well- not very evolved today, am i??? xxo have a good day- thank you, drive thru please!!!
