Struggling!

[Ambivalent]

I am not into divorcing her and remarrying. That is NOT what this place is for. And yes , it can happen again...loss of libido.

She's not into porn, well neither was I. But I couldn't help what would happen physiologically if I observed some types. I used those feelings and brought them to my husband.

Have you discussed whether or not she has ever successfully masturbated?

Have you ever given her a vibrator? What religion was she raised? If you told us, please forgive my redundancy.

Has she read about her anatomy and physiology? Now if no is the answer to some of the questions (other than religion) then this may be a place to start! I agree, if she has never had an orgasm, and at her age, why should she keep trying. It can be very frustrating.

Where I'm concerned is , she isn't "interested" in the intimacy you need and both may share.

Even if I'm not horny, and my H. is, I would give out of love. Learn to do it well, look him in the eye. Ask him what he wants. This is where I am puzzled.

And as for being open about having sex outside the marriage, no, that doesn't protect you from std's over clandestine sex.

Std's are rampant, ask ANY OBgyn. I was shocked over six years ago, from what I have been told by my office (dr.'s).

Saying something is a waste of time, or some of the things you've told us she's said , seem very selfish. THIS is with what is sending off the red flag meter.

She isn't old, she is in the same age range as I. How long, years, has this been non existent? I believe you said something about after second child. Was this from once a week to once a month, or once a month to once a quarter? What is your need?

I'm trying to understand so I can help, I'm not criticizing. I'm just observing from a distance how some things are not adding up. I have many, many women friends. I also know what they tell me . The less she has, at any age, the less she'll want.

It is not unusual to need hormones, and visual stimulants, written stimulants. She is human, but not dead!