Since you went away....

[FlyOnTheWall]

Hi RL, hope the eye sight improves, and fast, make sure your following thru. I know you are.

Its almost funny, sad, that he cant realize the whole 500.00 was prob set up BEFORE he even landed as a way to get money out of him. For her, the whole thing is a giant scam. Still working the soul-mate thing.........for a cost.

That fog isn't a lifting.........yet.

I think he really could careless about the "tramp", it was an ends to a mean in regards to his fantasy of seeing Russia in the first place. Now that his fantasy has been fulfilled, what's he going to do to fill the next dream? She's gonna be pushing extra hard now to figure out a way of getting over here. Maybe it will be the push to find out exactly how "pushy" she can be and what she really wants out of him. She'll get tired eventually that she picked the wrong mark. Who knows?

I was AMAZED at your MLC friend story during your trip to the UK. What an incredible experience seeing it first hand, and from a more or less neutral standpoint. I realize it wasn't the time or place to say anything, and like others I would have had a real HARD time not saying anything. Wont that be an interesting conversation when she finally comes out of the fog? IF she does.
Sounds like you gained some perspective out of it.

Btw, my wife, is well..........the same, but with a few more health issues, ok she's actually a mess. Thx for asking over in MH's thread. We just watch and learn, right!

The roller coaster slows down, the highs and lows don't seem as extreme, and eventually they either go with us to go to a new ride, or we get off and head to another park altogether. Time can be an amazing neutralizer.

Your husband's roller coaster ride some how stopped thru mars, ok Russia, but your still in the same park on a different ride. Enjoy the difference for now.

As I know you already know, you cant fix anything at this point. So be glad you don't have a lot of the details. Wouldn't it feel like you were checking his text/phone logs, snooping in a way, if you did have all that information? I wouldn't want to know myself. TOO MUCH INFO just drags us back onto the ride.

Keep on keeping on, your doing good.

[RosaLinda]

I'm having such a rough night at work. My co-workers have conspired to gang up on me again, telling me how ridiculous I seem to them. They are trying to get me to sign up to an online dating site, plenty of fish. And my vision is so crappy, I'm having such a hard time doing my job. I cannot see clearly out of either eye now. The surgeon says my "good" eye will continue to get worse and worse unless I have surgery on it, and I need laser treatments on the original eye, but that can't be done until November. It's so discouraging  Plus I'm having such a hard time detaching since H returned from Moscow, it  has me so down. I just can't seem to get back into the DB mindset. Can't stop fretting and thinking about my H and that woman together. I really understand that I need to let him go to complete his journey, but it's just been hard the past few days. Any prayers, positive thoughts or even crossed fingers would be greatly appreciated. 

[RosaLinda]

How's this for a PMA booster - I'm feeling lower than worms, and go into one of my patients to administer some medication, and he starts singing "You are so Beautiful to Me!"

[reachingHigher]

You know what, Rosa? You are so beautiful to me, too!

You continue to have a great attitude even when things are dark for you. You've been a true inspiration to me.

I'm so sorry about your eyesight. You have a clear mind even if your eyes are blurry. It's probably little consolation since we depend on our eyes so much.

The co-workers are probably just tired of seeing you sad over H and they are probably frustrated at him also! I'm sure they mean well. I know it's hard to go on with your DB plan in the face of well-meaning colleagues, but nevertheless, you still are.

Just b/c H is having a crisis, doesn't take away from the loveliness that you are. Actually, it is bringing out your deeper virtues of strength and love -- these are priceless gifts that money can't buy.

Hang in there!

Thinking of you today,
rH

[job]

Rosa,
Does resting your eyes help at all? Maybe too much time spent reading and computer work isn't helping. I realize you need to read for work, but when you are home, maybe you need to just step away from things that are putting a strain on your eyes for now. I honestly do not like the sound of what your surgeon has told you about your eyes.

As for your h, people aren't walking in your shoes, so they do not know what they are talking about. Yes, they are getting frustrated watching you and knowing about your situation, but until it happens to them, they don't truly know what they would do. They mean well...but they need to step back and allow you to make your own decisions.

I do hope your eyes are better soon. Please, please rest them as much as you can.

[nero]

hey hi linda-

keep thinking & thhking aboutyou. was sick as a dog sunday- fever & deciding i was probably gonna die- then it made me think ofyou home alone with your eye sitch - and i was having some real fellow-feeling for what you're going thru.

i hope it clears up a bit soon- you've got my praye4s, crossed fingers and also any good vibes i can muster to shoot out thru my brain to the ethers.

maybe they'll bounc off some planet and shoot you in the head. idk- it's allll so suckie. i think it's the weather. (can we blame it on that?) i was just thinking of you saying your h is same old stuff & skype- and me thinking of my h being with ow- picturing same old stuff (me) (y0u) endeavoring to just carry on- what a real giant bunch of crappola it all is.

i'm in bottom with the db at moment too- just not finding any purpose.

feel like calling him up and just sayin - so you in or out????

even dialed phone- didn't do it-

i'm soooooof'ing tired o not talking- not having a friend, companion- knowing allllll his companionship- etc. - EVERYTHING is being used on his life down there- stupid old tennis buddies- stupid old cow ow- etc. what the hell is this anyway????? i cna hardly stand it sometimes- just being shoved out the window in favor of these other goovers.

someone somewhere yesterday in these posts was saying about our h's needing other "poor sould" to save- well, fits my h to a T.

he's "saving " ow- he's gonna "take care" of his older buddy whose got health problems- wtf world???????/ why doesnt' he come save me from my stinking mother & family if he wants some kind of project????

i don't get it-

i don't like it-

i am in total sympathy with you- are you going to do the dating thing? i wonder sometimes- i'm THAT bored of being on my own and THAT sick of it all-

but then- i think of my girlfriend's rat of a h and the really nice way he portrays hmself on line in a dating place- and think alot of it is just more dishonest guys.

bad attitude i know- oh well- I SURE HOPE you manage to perk up a bit so you feel better. the singing patient is nice- i'd go for a singing anything. anyone that is not griping about something...

myself included. i think i'm becoming a sour pickle here- nothing fun & pleasing - NEED TO GET RITE OUT OF THIS LIFE I HAVE GOING - ALLLLLLL GIANT DOWNERS _ AND FIND SOME ENTERTAINMENT. saturday was good- just two days of being dreary and sick has made me allllll ratty-

God- and now i have to feel bad about what a pitiful icky downer wreck i can be sometimes-

oh man- no justice. your're great- idk how you've endured what you have so far-

i think it's alllll we CAN do - no??? just plod along and endure and endure til we flip our wigs???

i mean- it's no darn good trying to figure what to do til we know for sure what is rite for us ? - rite??? soooo- STUCK BIG TIME just going on- going forward - having your life, having my life, being unhapy about these guys- til we either don't want them anymore- get to hate them? - think the pain is worse than the lonliness- etc.

i guess...

just can't see the way today-

perhaps tomorrow will be better . i am so sorry your eyes are reacting so badly- you sure have alot of stuff testing your strength these days.

hang on man.

xxoo (re your co-workers- only listen if you feel like it . otherwise- remember EVERYONE always knows what's best for everyone else- look at their lives . they're not the guy in your shoes & hert).

good luck dearie

[MileHigh]

Must be the season. I've been down a bit lately, too. Health issues, dwelling on W's interactions with the not-so-handyman.

Was having a strong desire to simply run away! Too bad (or good thing?) for the cats or I might just do that.

Glad a patient gave you a boost when your well-meaning coworkers had you down.

Hang in there, ok?!

[ForeverYoung]

RL, I want you to look in the mirror with your blurry eyes and tell yourself that you love you. Really mean it. Then when you get home I want you to draw a bath, light some candles and relax for an hour or two. No reading, just close your eyes and relax. Think pleasant thoughts of far away places. Even have a glass of wine if you'd like. Doctors orders!

You ARE beautiful, (and stronger than you think) and we love you!

[uRworthy]

My sweet friend, I wish I was with you so I can tell you these things in person. So, just picture little me, with my impish smile, holding your hand and then laying my words on you - LOL!

You are so hard on yourself, Rosa. I dont know why that is. You seem to feel as if you are doing something wrong all the time. You are a wonderful, beautiful, loving and strong woman.

So, let's talk this through, ok? Regarding all this - you feel what you feel. Having said that, there are some things that can help you not to allow those feelings to overwhelm you.

You really need to detach. And what that means for you is that you have to try really hard not to allow what your h is doing or saying dictate how you are going to feel.

Remember I shared with you how, when I was growing up, if my mother was having a good day, then I was? And how that continued in my marriage? How I felt, what mood I was in, whether I was happy or sad, was all based on what they were feeling. And that is no way to go through life.

So, find the beauty in your life. Your children, your grandchildren, your family, your patients, your home. Try to realize how much you have in your life. And each day, remember who you are and how special you are to so many.

Let him wallow in his own foolishness. You dont want to get too close to all of that.

It doesnt matter what he is saying or doing in that relationship because it isnt real. How can it be? Look what it is based on. Two broken people, one in crisis, in poor health, with low self esteem and the other so desperate for a green card that she is willing to sell her soul to get it.

Rosa, leave them to this ridiculousness. It doesnt warrant you getting so upset.

Detach, my friend. Do not allow his crap to influence your life.

Get back on your path. Cuz, I now know where you live. And I am not above coming there and kickin your butt if I have to.

Just sayin....

Ah, girl, you can do this. Just get the heck out of his way and out of your own.

Now get to gettin.

[uRworthy]

Oh, and as far as your friends at work. You know what you need to do there, right?

You have to get a smile on your face and then say to them, thanks for your concern. It would really be helpful if you didnt tell me to go on a dating site. But you all feel free to do that if you want. And then walk away. How? You know what I am going to say. With a florish.