Oh, Pudmuddle....you are SO right about the MIL issue! Wish I would have thought of it in those terms before I told H I would write her. But, I won't be making that mistake again! You were so right. And, yes, he is used to everyone (including his MOMMMA, fixing everything for him...sounds like that's a good habit to break.)
I was too tired to reply last night, but your post, along with CP's really helped before I went to bed.
CP, thank you, too, for the good reminders!
And, H2, it was good to have another guy perspective!!! Thank you so much!! You helped me to get some things straight in my own mind about what I want and need...and helped remind me about how guys are with this ML stuff.
All of you on this thread have had great suggestions. And while I know that I have to do what I feel is "right," it did help to feel validated on the "sex" thing....that within boundaries (or whatever), that it's okay that my H and I are still ML.
Update today (all of you who wrote me about the past couple of issues...THANK YOU! It really helped get me back on track with my DBing!!!!!):
So, H left the house mad yesterday about the ML comment I made. I texted him once, yesterday evening, to apologize for taking things the wrong way and to tell him to have fun hanging with the guys. I never heard back from him...so I let it go.
This morning, he didn't come home from work. (The past two months, this is standard if he's mad at me. So, I'm guessing he went back to his buddy's, where he crashes sometimes.)
I wanted to text him, but did NOT, thanks to the reminders from my friends on here! And, after lunch, he texted me to ask if I'd tried to call (nope...I did not....and he knew that, too, as his phone obviously has caller ID).
I replied, "Nope, but thanks for making sure."
He then asked what I was doing. He asked what all we have going on this week with the kids, etc. I would wait 30 minutes or so, while I really was busy cleaning house, before I would reply with nice, but short texts. Not my usual chatty self, just straight and to the point.
He kept texting me. Then, he kept thanking me for being "civil".
At one point, he texted something kinda rude and I just wrote back, "I am not going to fight."
So, he went back to being nice. His last text didn't need an answer so I didn't reply.
So, much better today! I am feeling more balanced, less frantic.
The past two weeks, I've felt like I was running out of time or something....like I had to make decisions right now! But, this weekend was good for me to remember to chill out...to calm down....and to remember that this is going to take a LONG, LONG time to work out.
Also, it's good for me to be reminded that I am fortunate to have my H still at home. The roller coaster rides are NOT fun...and sometimes hard to get off of with him here...but at least, he's here. And, that's something.
