I would first like to take a moment to thank each and every person who has read through my personal hell, added a comment, an ass kicking, support and generally just commisterated.
I suspect this will be my last posting for a while.
Two days ago, while going through my stack of lost photos, I came across an unmarked CD. My H had apparently downloaded the pics from his phone sometime last year.
He has been engaging in online activities with assorted women, getting "photos" and essentially replacing me with a host of other women.
Today I called him on it. I deserve respect, I deserve to be loved, honoured and cherished.
He informed me that he had ALWAYS been faithful. I pointed out his 2008-2009 affair, the assorted cybersluts at that time as well, his "chats" with one of my girlfriends in May, and I suspect several other in the last few years.
He said that he considered it was only cheating if he slept with them. I told him cheating is doing anything you would not want your spouse to see. Anytime you step over that line, you are disrespecting your wife, whom you profess to love. He admitted that he had then stepped over the line A LOT in the last few years, and that he had done it, because it made him feel good.
I WAS ANGRY!
I told him that I would happily have engaged in whatever (I am in no way a prude) I am his wife and love him. H loves the excitement of something new and shiny....he admitted that I would most likely never be enough for him.
I told him to enjoy his new and shiny life, hope the fantasy of it, is everything he hoped it would be.
I know I got off the phone with him feeling about 2 inches tall.
I'm done.
But I wanted to thank this wonderful site for everything I have learned.
I wish each one of you the best of luck, and hope your path has a better ending than mine!
Awww, Muse, I'm so sorry. You deserve a big hug. As if this isn't hard enough without those kinds of surprises.
If you need some navigation through surviving, come join us on that forum. Our focus is obviously on other things, but we can at least offer you support.
Take good care of yourself and your D.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
