Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[THX-1138]

I sat with W at the soccer game, and we talked for about 20 minutes before it started. No R talk, or D talk, or M talk. Just a nice chat about D14 and neutral stuff. She hugged me when she left. Asked if she could first, and I said, "It might hurt," but she did it anyway. I left my arms at my sides but I leaned in just a little and let her hug me.

She has been working out, and has a body like Sharon Stone did a few years ago. She should have no trouble in the singles bars.

This morning W came to my house to pick up D14 for a second soccer game. I can't go because I have joined a team myself as part of my GAL and PMA program. W said she was happy that I have joined a team.

She showed up 15 minutes early to pick up D14, and sat at the dining table with me while I finished my coffee. She is acting like we are old friends, chatting, and laughing a lot. We talked about her football teams, and D14's soccer, and stuff she is doing. I am asking no questions and putting no pressure. W loves to chat, and has no filter at all. If I am quiet, and just respond with a few comments, she will ramble on and on about stuff. She is terrible about keeping any kind of secrets because she talks about everything that pops into her head. (I learned about who the OM is through her over-sharing. She told meabout her crush months ago - after that all i had to do was a little Google, etc.)

She has removed her wedding band and is now wearing nothing on her finger. It has become very clear she has already moved on mentally to where I am just her ex-husband and dependable old friends - but without friends with benefits arrangement http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/images/icons/default/tongue.gif .)

I am concerned that I am letting her eat her cake, and also helping out by providing a soft landing for her. She is definitely in the euphoria of being and acting newly single. No wedding band. Going out etc. Flirting with young guys.

The good: I recognize that her hugging me, and wanting to spend time with me is good. But I also want her to miss me, right?

How the heck am I supposed to be Dark, but also mysterious, a little distant, and attractive to her? How can I be dark, and also happy and upbeat?

I think her EA/PA is fizzling, because she spent Friday and Saturday nights alone in her apartment. Through my continued observation (AKA snooping - I know, bad idea) she has spent very little time with the OM. I think he may have lost interest already. Definitely a good thing.

But now, I am worried that she might be a classic WAW, and really IS going to actually be happier living alone, and to be just old friends with me. She definitely has done many things that indicate a MLC, but she's not as manic as one might expect. No fights with me and no drama. She is really ready to move on through the D proceedings.

Should I try to get her to delay the D? To do so, I would have to have a big relationship talk with her, and go a lot of places she doesn't want to go. She is so positive that she is happier now (and actually seems so when with me) I doubt it would do any good. But stopping the D would save much money and heartache for both of us and the kids.

At any rate, my plan is to remain her friend, keep on GAL'ing and PMA. So if she does crash into reality, I am the best option she will have left. Wishful thinking.