It can be funny watching a MLCr. The part that always seemed the most odd to me was their need to "fix" other people. The need to mentor somebody else while they can't help themselves. Two thoughts always came to mind,"physician, heal thyself" and it occurred to me that they are working on themselves through others. The latter is because it would be safer to help others. I've seen that countless times with my ex and with friends and friends friends. It's interesting to watch sometimes.
That intimacy? Isn't that what everyone craves? I mean, s*x and fun can be entertaining for a while, but it's the intimacy that really makes it all worthwhile. Oddly, I was explaining that to my son the other day And of all the things that I missed the most when my ex took the crazy train to nowhere, it was the intimacy. S*x I can get anywhere. I can even negotiate for it if I wanted to get to that level. But intimacy in my relationships is the real prize.
As a culture, we're told that our shirts can be whiter, we can be slimmer, we can have nice cars and houses, and if we have those things we'll be happy. I disagree. I believe our integrity and our relationships are what will ultimately make us happy along with our worship of God. Humans are wired that way, and we feel that even when there's a short-circuit somewhere. I've often felt that's why a MLCr never really goes away and needs to tell themselves all kinds of BS about the LBS to make themselves feel justified, "I had to leave because..." and why later, when the dust has settled they may say that they had a great relationship and the LBS is a great person, parent, spouse, but that they just couldn't be married to them anymore. Strange but seems to play out often in the same ways.
I think Wonka speaks truth in her post, Raine. I think your H isn't fully baked, but doesn't want to lose you and yet doesn't yet know how to a) fix what he broke and b) get that connection and intimacy back. That's really up to you to show the way. He's at your mercy. Your challenge is to be able to be real and yet not overwhelm him and pound him into the ground for his actions.
Forgiveness. It's not easy to overcome what's happened, but it's your ticket to ride....
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
And of all the things that I missed the most when my ex took the crazy train to nowhere, it was the intimacy. S*x I can get anywhere. I can even negotiate for it if I wanted to get to that level. But intimacy in my relationships is the real prize. 
