Thank you so much for your honesty, I know its not always easy having to critique ourselves, especially when we make it feel so much like success or failure in our eyes.
My initial thought here is that, you failed to hold up after the first R. Its gonna take even longer this time to get your chance, if there is going to be one. In all honesty, I see some very encouraging signs, but its still so hard not to jump to conclusions or have some expectations. Your doing great at giving her time (minus the snooping), while working on yourself.
Like Johanne says, save the marriage first. Trust that. Don't consider yourself a plan B, just a failed plan A. you gave your wife no choice but to find a plan B. Your working on fixing that (again), its a lifetime of work. She came back once, it can happen again.
In regards to your frustrations at her lack of self reflection, its understandable. BUT, its still about your changes for now, you admit you still have work to do. I truly think that type of work is for the next stage, or R. Its hard not projecting your frustrations at the inactivity thou, just know that about yourself, and 180 it. When u get there, that's when the 5LL book becomes the MOST effective, cause now its working both ways.
