You sound like your in a pretty good place, your expectations are pretty in check for the circumstances.
Do you think at this point an extended NC, maybe a solid week or two, would help her realize she would be losing a lot more than she thinks? Or are you happy at this point that your getting the chance for her to see your 180's first hand?
Its sounds like you've done quite a bit of decluttering, have you thought about completely moving a couple of the rooms around by rearranging the furniture, giving it a new look? Kind of a fresh start within the same confines?
You've been thru this before, but didn't follow thru with the changes and your obviously here again. What are you doing this time to reinforce the changes? why different this time, that you got too/so complacent the first time?. Are your changes permanent this time? and why?
Whats her LL, with the handyman, could it be acts of service? Or was this just in response to the straw the broke the camels back, and she was looking to escape again? Or maybe its physical touch, and how are you addressing her in regards to her love language now? Have you tried, and looked for her responses to the LL attempts? Are there things that your testing and looking for a response, then adjusting as needed?
Other than cleaning the house and not losing your cool while driving, what are other 180's your doing. Obviously neither of you are perfect, you know your issues, what are your issues with her, other than the OM, and is she working on anything to address her own faults?
BTW after your done at TTD's place, I got a few rooms..........oh nm, you got enough on your plate.
