You start off every post hanging on her every word, mind reading what she might be thinking or doing, whether she's very open or more low key.
Then the next paragraph is im "ready to let her go"? Please go back and re-read your posts, your all over the place still, and you know what, your supposed to be!!! Its still VERY early in your sitch. STOP trying to figure things out and give yourself, and maybe even her a break.
Its been 4 months!!! FOUR!!!!since the separation. I'm sorry but you have a LONG LONG way to go, im afraid thou that your still too vested in the outcome because your not really detaching yet. That's ok, its gonna take time.
To answer why your "hanging around waiting", its cause you want your marriage to work..........PERIOD, end of story. Your also carrying a fair share of resentment still with comments like "someone who refuses to even put in the slightest" type comments, that too will take more time. I was a wreck myself after 4 months, its to be expected.
You gave several reasons to be happy, but still let the ONE reason continue to bog down your changes. As a matter of fact, what changes are you making for YOU, what got you into trouble in the first place? Still so many of your actions are reactions to her. You have a lot of work to do on yourself, but you are trying to make changes and TELLING her your making them (the ring thing). Do it for yourself cause you need to, not to be noticed.
Your going to make it buddy, really you are. But you need to get a hold of your emotions, stop thinking so much about the outcome of your marriage like you have some kind of say in it right now. You don't!! Either your going to give her the time she needs or your going to push her away further and forever. You CANNOT fix your marriage right now, im sorry, but you can make mistakes to end it. Start preparing yourself that either your going to give this at LEAST another year or your not. There is still no missing you yet, a day or two here and there is still too much in her face, and prevents you from detaching.
Your still trying to convince yourself for the wrong reasons, theres no forgiveness in your tones, just jealousy/resentment/anger at the situation, or her lack of effort in them. There is NO effort on her part!!! She cant miss you and your still trying to make changes to get noticed. Are those really changes? or your way of forcing your input on a situation that's out of your control?
