I'm not sure what to say about the sex issue, other than I wish I had that problem.
But in all seriousness, remember that you sometimes have to fit DB to your specific situation. I would say that if you are having sex still, and it is not bothering you then it can only help the connection between you. Have sex because YOU want to. Some of my thoughts are that if you do have sex, you must have NO expectations on what will happen afterwards. If he suddenly jumps up and says I have to go, then stretch out calmly and say Ok have a great time.
Also, do you initiate at all? Meaning do you set up something nice and make it all about him? That could possibly help his feelings of insecurity. And again, have no expectations on how it will turn out. Or he may even reject you. Then just say Ok, I thought it would be nice to have some time together and leave it at that.
Then on the MIL email. My first thought there was, oh no, she didn't really do that for him... What your H is going through cannot be corrected by you. If he has issues with his mother right now, then HE needs to correct it. Because as you saw, how will you know if you said the right thing? Or what he wanted you to do? YOU CAN'T. It sounds like he is used to other people 'fixing' his mistakes. Don't do that for him, it cannot possibly turn out good.
He is in a messed up state of mind, so he will try to find things wrong with anything you try to do right now, ok? I can see vividly from your posts that he is up and down at the drop of a hat, so there is no way you could know how make sense of him. It's up to you right now to be consistent with your responses, calm, cool and not give in to his tantrums. I think at this point you will have to say Look I'm sorry about what I said in the email, I am only concerned about you, but I cannot fix what has happened between you and your mother. You are going to have to fix it when you are ready.
Just my thoughts on the whole thing. Remember in your head to breathe before you say anything. And also remember you will have to come back here and post to your board buddies . Make us proud!
Keep calm and carry on, friend.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
. Make us proud!
