So, guys, out there. Is he using me? I've had a few people on these boards tell me that we shouldn't be having sex. But, for out sitch, I feel like that is important to our reconnecting. Am I being stupid? Should I cut off sexual contact with him for now? I feel like he'll see it as a slap in the face. He just told me yesterday that the one thing he is insecure about is when I say that maybe he should move on, etc. because he feels like I'm not in it for the long haul and that he feels like I'm not attracted to him. Which totally isn't true but that's how he sees it.
I'm new to your sitch, but I wanted to share some thoughts. First, I would give anything to be able to ML to my W. I do believe it can help maintain an emotional connection. For me, I never knew our last time might really be our LAST time.
That said, it does read a little like he is using you, getting what he wants, but maybe not all that you want. I don't know how it was with your R before, but I know in mine, there needed to be more leading up to ML or certainly afterwards. I don't know that I would go cold turkey, as that could create more emotional distance, but I don't think you should feel the need to if you are not getting what you want. I would be clear about what you need to feel comfortable about ML. Let him decide if he is willing to meet your needs. That makes it his choice and potentially avoids blaming you. Of course it doesn't matter what I think or anyone else thinks, you should do what you feel is right.
