Thank you my forum friends!

[Tina825]

Hi all, guess I'm on moderation and still hoping to get through so I can get some advice. I've posted several other posts so won't go through all that again other than found out 8/12 H was talking on a secret phone to OW. We separated for almost six months, went through IC and MC and things were going pretty well until 8/13 I caught him on secret phone again. He immediately said we are through and left. He has had me on an emotional roller coaster ever since. One day nice and sweet wanting to talk about us and what we can do, the next I won't hear a word until evening. I firmly told him that I need him to do a NC with OW in order for our marriage to go anywhere at this point. I will not waiver from that because I think that's the problem I had first time was forgiving so quickly and not trusting that there was NC.

We have a 9s and 13s (mine) and he keeps inviting himself to whatever we are doing and I've basically said that's your choice. We also own our own business so it's difficult to do total darkness.

Last night he texted me and said he wished he could figure out how to get us on track and how he knows he f'd up our relationship and doesn't know what to do. Then he said he wished he had a magic wand. I said "don't we all?" Today he's back to being aloof. Asked to join me and sons to dinner and movie, then when I told him what time we would be at restaurant he said "I'll see if I can make it". I said, "your choice".

He has been questioning who he is, doesn't think he's as successful as he should be for his age - just turned 45, doesn't want to live what little life he has unhappy, wants to die his hair - which is just starting to grey, losing weight, etc.

Any advice would be great at this point as I feel I'm being strung along and he's sitting on the fence to decide if our marriage is worth working on or if she's the better option. Thanks to all replies.